The Conversation Challenge

Task: write a conversation where there are ….

A. All gender-neutral pronouns. No, He or She

B. No gender obvious names.

C. Setting must be a café

D. And the characters are exchanging gifts.

My Attempt

The streets were swollen with people. Manic delivery drivers parked in the road and ignored the angry horns as they raced against the stream of shoppers and dived in and out of business doorways. I watched relived that my partner Avery, did all our Christmas shopping and I only had to cook the meal for us and our children on the big day. I kept checking my watch, it was unlike Jo to be late. The newspaper before me was becoming less and less interesting. Finally, there was a bustle of activity. I looked up to see Jo was there fighting the narrow door with a pram. I rushed to help.

“Hi, how are you?” asked Jo abandoning the pram to kiss me on the cheek.

“Fine, fine. What happened to you?” I enquired looking at the dishevelled mess of my friend. The person who had nearly always been perfectly presented when we worked together.

“This monster wanted to feed before we could leave the house.” Jo now balanced baby Sammy on a tilted frame with a baby bag swinging in the arched stance.

“Here give me Sam, and go and get yourself a cuppa.” I offered.

“Thank you, Lesley.” Jo put a hand on my arm, smiled and then walk straight past coffee counter, making a beeline for the loos. I laughed and bounced the babbling, bright-eyed Sammy on my knee. Sammy smiled back. clearly unaware of the energy it must have took to make organic carrot purée and get fine oatmeal to the right temperature and still make it into the city centre for 11:20 coffee with an old friend.

I reached for the all-too-familiar soft brown bear out of the baby bag. There I caught a glimpse at what must have been my Christmas present. Wrapped perfectly and jo’s hand written tag saying;

“happy holiday and best wishes Jo and Sam, x.”

“Shit!” I exclaimed having realised my gift for Jo was back in the office. What was I thinking? Jo had managed to get here and wrestle Sam into the loathed car seat. Which, to be fair, we all didn’t understand how to operate. Jo had driven through city traffic to sit and have coffee with me, here so it was close to my office, and had remembered the gift. What excuse did I have? I Had even been sat here waiting, wondering why Joe was late. The irony that I could have run back to the office and been back within 10 minutes wasn’t helping. If only I had realised. Well, I felt right idiot. Sam added by barfing onto my suit jacket from my continued bouncing. Because of the forgotten gift, I didn’t complain. I figured I deserved it.

Joe came back with another coffee for me and a tea. Anticipating the vomit episode from Sam Joe had stolen loo roll.

“I kind of saw it from over there at the counter.” Jo stifled a laugh.

“Saw what?” I asked wonder if my sneaky peek at the present had been spotted.

“Half digestive carrot all down your back, perfectly timed as you bent over for the blasted bear… Well done Sam.” Said Joe turning from me to the little bundle of smiling joy and trying to clean me up all of the same time.

“Made your strike while I was distracted hey? Fair play. But maybe keep the sneakiness to hockey tournaments”

“Hope you can tech Sammy better than you captain, Captain.” Muttered Jo jokingly. “Will you be able to change at the office?”

“Yeah,” I replied hardly caring.

“Sorry Lesley, I’m still getting used to this parenting thing. No matter how hard I try. I’ve never got everything I need. Maybe I should go back to the warehouse logistics.”

“I don’t know about that. Just don’t leave me holding the baby” I laughed trying to wrestle Sam into a clean bib. We were now both laughing as it took us the two of us to get Sam into the highchair.

Would you like to guess the gender of Jo, Lesley and Sam?….

I’ll let you know if your right or if I was able to hide them.

Wolf and the Sea

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Native American Legends
Wolf and the Sea
A Haida Legend

Once a man found two wolf pups on the beach, he took them to his home and raised them.

When the pups had grown, they would swim out in to the ocean, kill a whale, and bring it to shore for the man to eat.

Each day they did this, soon there was too much meat to eat and it began to spoil.

When the Great Above Person saw this waste he made a fog and the wolves could not find whales to kill nor find they way back to shore.

They had to remain at sea, those wolves became sea wolves (Orca).

A love Poem

1 Love poem

My butterfly life, never settling with the flower of a wife,

I wonder if I am capable of true love or if I am cursed to wonder.

How my arms ache to hold, how my lips burn to kiss

But, I do not want a butterfly wife.

I don’t want a pretty little miss who doesn’t mind who she kisses,

I am a man who needs a real wife.

I am a man with a butterfly life. I am not a gypsy,

nor travelling salesman who sells potions and lotions from door to door.

I do not hunt for a wife only long for a love.

I don’t just want some other cute young tipsy,

nor a woman who has a tendency to mother.

I don’t want women who constantly smother or call you guilty.

Oh my butterfly life I need an anchor.

Life so fleeting, that it is constantly moving and never settles too long.

I have been through so many changes and have had so many stages.

Some say I am pretty, and for my flesh hanker.

Say that I am infamous, that I’m famous, because I own many pages.

Oh, but, I am also lonely, and desire only her.

by S.Bryant

Worst poem ever

Haha, (evil laughter) the task set to our class this week was to write the worst poem ever to illustrate what a poem should not be. so….

Poorly poem

Yer, well it has been written

And it ani’t got real words in places

Some odd stanza brakes like a lot of bad poet’s mistakes

Every line starts with a capital letter and the punctuation is all over the place and it has mixed pace so you sound as if you have been training for a marathon race by the time you have got though and read to the end of the line.

Also Kev and I think is a crime not to have some kind of rhyme.

Your getting stressed about the stresses and iambic meter which you don’t know if that’s AABB or ABAB C

And well, it just

Ends.

But, it never actually ends cause you read it to your friends and they have to say well that was nice but it lacks a little in places and they have fake smiles on their faces.

So ya think you have a gooden and you send it to the Guardian and they don’t even email back and just, just, don’t know if you should have never got out of bed.

Then forget what your tutor said about cliché use and do it all again

Repeat the pain until you are a poet.

And you didn’t even know it.

Hereford College of Art.

The College Road campus is truly the jewel in their crown. The open day was lively and interactive which is a great start no matter what course you are applying for . As you know I’m searching the my perfect illustration BA hons.

That in mind I was hunting down the course tutor Neil Hadfield like a bloodhound. he was happy to talk with me and show me around. (good start) Neil gave me great advice about what they were looking for in student applications and kept no secrets about the questions they might ask in the interview. Hereford interview most of the applicants who apply to the degree courses. I believe this is a particularly great thing as we find only in meeting a creative person can you truly know the level of their passion for Art. furthermore he gave good advice about portfolio expectations and how to apply for funding. What a nice man.

Hereford does not disappoint. There was a wealth of Art course merging in one beautiful place. From the well known arts to the more specialist quest. A creative individual would be sure to find a happy home here.
BA Hon included: Artist Blacksmithing (wow), illustration, animation, jewellery design, fine art, popular music, contemporary design craft, textile and photography, film and photography, commercial photography, and more.
All the degrees are validated by Wales Trinity Saint David’s university.

On the subjects of home this has been the best institute thus far to have given out housing information. The staff did more than just say “we have student housing” The housing team introduced them selves, explained how to contact them and gave clear instruction on how and importantly when you should apply regardless of what university you are attending. Although I am not in need myself. I felt reassured and cared about by their openness. If I had been a young applicant or a parent of a student this would have been a welcome relief.

Tutors were keen to mention how all areas are available to all students whichever course they are on. Integration and collaboration is a big part of Hereford students life. What a refreshing and exciting testament to have. There was lots of evidence to support this around the building on the blogs and more importantly when talking to already attending students.

For me the only down side was the remoteness of the location. Because I can’t be in residence due to family commitments. The town has old market qualities that are full of rural charm. If your a city fan or want big nightlife this is not the place for you. If you love people and nature and want to be inspired by the handcrafted Hereford is the best place on earth for you.